It's a Platypus Life
by ZeeCorge
Summary: Dr. Doofenshmirtz suddenly finds himself a Platypus and temporarily living with Perry. No good can come of this, right? Doof/Perry slash.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Phineas & Ferb, or the like. I just screw it up with my fanwork. Yay.**

I just recently began watching the show and instantly took a liking to Perry the Platypus and Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Reading many fanfiction about the two, I noticed that most centered around Perry turning human. So I decided to go in the opposite direction.

Warning: I haven't decided whether to just hint at slash or to make it full-blown slash. Either way, if slash isn't your cup-o-tea I suggest you don't read this.

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~Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporateeeeed ~

Perry crashed threw a window on the top level of the building complex, landing on a giant blob of ABC gum. He struggled to free his feet but the gum was so sticky it pulled them right back down.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz voiced as he entered the room, looking up at the newly broken window. "You really need to learn how to open windows. Aaanways, sorry about the crude trap and all, but I was so busy working on my latest evil invention that I forgot about making a trap. Silly right? Good thing I had lots of bubble-gum!" He commented as he rubbed his jaw, sore from chewing all the gum.

The Platypus spy looked back down at the gum beneath him and gave a look of disgust. Doofenshmirtz decided to change the subject and walked over to the invention hidden under a tan tarp. "I bet you're wondering what evil I'm up to now, eh? Well let me show you!" He called excitedly as he pulled away the tarp. "Behold! The Animal-inator!" It looked exactly like the Shrink-inator, except it was blue.

"You see, every time I got to the movies I'm always annoyed by people talking on their cell phones or getting up to go to the restroom! It makes me so mad! So I'm going to turn everyone in the theater into animals!!" Perry merely looked bored about the whole thing. "Then again, if I turn them into animals they'll just bark and make other animal noises. Which would be just as annoying I suppose…" The 15 dollar doctor said to himself, he obviously didn't think this out much. With a shrug he continued to rant, "Oh well, I'm doing it anyways. Cause, you know, it's evil."

While Doofenshmirtz was distracted with his evil genius rant Perry reached under his fedora and pulled out a pair of scissors. He began cutting the gum away from his webbed feet, looking up from time to time to make sure Dr. Doofenshmirtz hadn't noticed what he was doing.

Heinz made his way to the control panel located on the side of the machine. "And now, time to turn everyone at the local movie theater into animals!… There's a lovely movie I want to see." He exclaimed happily has he started pressing buttons. But before he could press the ON button he was kicked in the side and sent flying into the railing surrounding the patio. Perry the Platypus jumped onto the Animal-inator and pulled off a panel, reviling tons of wires.

As Perry began pulling out wires Doofenshmirtz jumped on the other end completely unaware the rays tip was pointing at his stomach. "Hey don't do that, Perry the Platypus!" He yelled as he grabbed onto said Platypus' wrists.

Even with Doof holding his wrists and struggling to get him of his invention Perry managed to grab a large red wire and rip it out of the machine. As soon as the wire disconnected with the Animal-inator it vibrated wildly before a large blast of blue shot out from its end and hit Doofenshmirtz, sending him crashing to the floor with a horrified yelp. The Secret Agent stood frozen where he was, confused and shocked. After a moment he came to his senses and jumped down to check on Heinz. He found the evil Doctors clothes laying three feet in front of the machine. Perry paused for a moment, _'Did… Did I kill him? Did he evaporate?!'_ He thought in a panic. Dr. Doofenshmirtz was evil and pretty annoying but he certainly didn't want to kill the man! That's when he noticed a small lump in the shirt move slightly. Perry let out a sigh of relief. _'He was just turned into an animal… Serves him right.'_

He pulled a jetpack from out of nowhere and headed for the patios ledge before he paused. Curiosity getting the better of him. _'I wonder what kind of animal he was turned into? I bet he's a sloth.' _For some reason a sloth fit Doofenshmirtz perfectly. Perry had to see for himself so he quietly made his way back to the pile of clothes. He was hesitant as he grabbed the bottom hem of the black shirt and pulled it up slightly, revealing a tail just like his. _'A beaver?'_ Perry thought, a little disappointed.

At that moment Heinz slowly sat up and the shirt slide off him completely. His back was turned to Perry, who taken aback by what he saw. _'Doofenshmirtz is a PLATYPUS?!'_ he thought wildly.

The evil genius' head was throbbing and he couldn't even bring himself to open his eyes. Raising a hand to rub the bridge of his nose he found the area to be rather hard and smooth. Very unusual. He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted by a long duckbill poking out in front of him. Mouth hung agape as he raised his hand up over his bill and into his line of sight. He was greeted with another shock. His hand was no longer pale with long skinny finger, but a light purple with tiny fury digits.

Perry made his escape before Doofenshmirtz could notice him. As he leapt away from the building and activated his jetpack he heard the all too common _"Curse you Perry the Platypus"_ being called out with great anger.

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**-To Be continued-**


	2. Chapter 2

Here it is, chapter two. Yayness.

Also, a little slashy there at the end.

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A few days past since the incident with Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Perry was now playing his role as a mindless domestic pet. Phineas was holding him while the boys made their way back from the Pet Shop only a few blocks from their house. The young red haired boy looked from the pet to his step bother. "You know, for a pet that doesn't do much Perry sure eats a lot."

The slightly taller boy, Ferb, looked at large bag of canned food he held and nodded silently in agreement.

As they rounded the corner Phineas called out excitedly, "Hey, look at that!"

Perry's gaze followed to where his owner was pointing and was shocked at what he saw. There in the middle of the sidewalk was a light purple Platypus, waving his arms angrily at the store in front of him. _'…Not Doofenshmirtz!' _Perry thought in despair as the two boys made their way over to the other Platypus.

Phineas and Ferb listed to the animals angry chitter for a moment. _"What do you mean 'No Animals Allowed'?! How am I supposed to get the supplies I need if you won't let m-"_ He stopped mid-rant when he realized he was no longer alone. Slowly Doofenshmirtz craned his head to the side. _"What? What do you want?" _The Doctor barked, not noticing the familiarity in the other Platypus.

"Aw, are you lost?" Phineas said sweetly as tried to pet Doofenshmirtz, only to have the ex-human jerk away.

Ferb spoke in a calm manner "He doesn't look very healthy.", taking note of the dark rings still evident under the Platypus' eyes.

The teal colored Platypus glared at the other, as if willing him away. But to his dismay Phineas picked Doofenshmirtz up and held him in his arms right along side Perry. "We should take him home! Tomorrow we can put up posters to find his owner!" The young boy explained to the other. Ferb gave a nod of approval before beginning their trek home again.

The whole time Doofenshmirtz was struggling to break free from the boys hold on him and cursed wildly in German. Finally they made it home and entered the living room, where Phineas placed both Platypus on the couch. "Wait here, I'll be right back!" He said, petting Doofenshmirtz quickly before he and his step bother ran off to find their mother.

The newly made Platypus took a moment to look around the room before noticing the glare the other animal was giving him. _"…You look familiar, have we met before?" _Perry rolled his eyes before taking out his fedora and placing it on his head. How one little hat changed his entire appearance was beyond his understanding. Doofenshmirtz stared wide eyed for a moment before bursting out, _"Perry the Platypus?!?… Well, this is certainly unexpected."_

"_Get out of here Doofenshmirtz!" _Perry growled. The mere thought of having the man… Platypus in his home made his stomach churn.

It took him a moment to register that he had actually understood what the other said. It was strange, he was used to chittering or growls. Finally he shot back just as bitterly, _"No need to be rude Perry the-" _He paused realizing there wasn't a need to add 'the Platypus', _"It's not like I WANT to be here, you know."_

The teal colored Platypus pointed toward the sliding glass door. _"Then leave!"_

Hanging his head slightly, _"Oh, I would, but I… Can't." _He looked up to see Perry staring, waiting for him to continue. _"Well, you remember Norm right? The robot man I built to destroy you. Yeah well, I kind of, you know, forgot to remove the 'kill all Platypus' program. He took one look at me and tried to squish me!"_ The Doctor noticed no sympathy on the others face and added, _"So you're stuck with me until I can figure out a way back into my lab and I can build a 'Reverse-Animal-Inator'."_

Before Perry had a chance to respond Phineas and Ferb returned. The green-haired boy picked Doof up while the other spoke. "Great news boy! Mom said you can stay until we find you're owner! Isn't that great?!" The purple Platypus gave the other a smug look before giving the boy his best chitter impersonation.

For the rest of the afternoon the two mammals glared at each other from across the living room. Neither liked the idea of being near the other in such an awkward situation like this. It wasn't long before everyone was called for dinner and the two were placed next to identical food bowls.

He stared at the bowl in front of him, questioning it for a moment. It certainly wasn't a 5 star meal, let alone a hamburger, but he was hungry. Slowly Doof took the smallest bite he could and chewed it before his face lit up with excitement. _"This stuff is great!"_ He called between bites of food. Perry just smirked as he watched, _'If only he knew what was in it.' _

After the boys finished eating Phineas picked Doofenshmirtz up and placed him in Perry's pet bed located in the living room. He bent down and picked Perry up. "You can sleep here boy, Perry doesn't use it anyways." As the young boy started towards his room the Platypus in his arms began to struggle for freedom. Pausing a moment he looked at his pet in confusion. "What's wrong, don't you want to go to bed?"

Perry finally slipped from the boys grip and jumped into his pet bed, glaring at Doofenshmirtz, who seemed just as confused as Phineas. "Oh, I get it! You want to sleep with you're friend!" The red-head commented as he pet both animals for a moment before again heading to his room.

Both Platypus blushed slightly at the boys comment. Doofenshmirtz was the first to recover and he tried to push Perry out of the bed with one webbed foot. _"I'm not sleeping with you!"_

Perry pushed back with a huff. _"I'm not leaving you alone so you can sneak off to look for my secret base!"_

The thought had actually never accrued to the evil genius and he smirked. _"I didn't even think of that, but thanks for the idea!"_ He began pushing Perry again. _"Now get out of the bed, I was here first, you can sleep on the floor!"_

"_I'm not sleeping on the floor! It's my bed!"_, the teal animal spat before kicking the other in the stomach.

He took a moment to recover from the blow before laying down, hanging his hind legs and tail off the side. _"Fine, but I warn you, I snore really loudly… And drool." _Perry just rolled his eyes at the unnecessary information as he took his place at the other end of the tiny bed.

****

Perry opened his eyes slowly, feeling a pleasing warmth all over his front. But what he saw made his face flush a dark crimson. Right up against him was Doofenshmirtz, with the same wide-eye stare and blush on his face. Their bills were only centimeters from each other. They had their arms around the other, holding on tightly. Both stared at each other for what seemed like eternity. Too embarrassed and shocked to move. Fortunately a bright flash from above jolted the two apart.

"Aww. Isn't that cute!" Linda, the boys mother, cooed as she pulled the Polaroid picture from the camera. She walked away waving the picture in an attempt to make it develop faster.

Doofenshmirtz and Perry sat there, shocked, embarrassed and confused. _"Wow, that was embarrassing." _Heinz stated after clearing his throat.

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**-To be Continued-**


	3. Chapter 3

I'm not even going to bother apologizing for not updating this. I am a procrastinator through-and-through. But I felt bad because even after all this time people still comment and favorite. So here's to you guys. Chapter 3.

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That morning was an awkward blur as the two platypus tried their best to avoid each other. Perry had even refused to sit next to Doofenshmirtz during breakfast, and dragged his food bowl across the kitchen floor so he could eat alone.

Shortly after the boys had finished cleaning the dishes they dirtied Phineas announced they were going to make posters to find the purple mammals owner. The redhead took Doof outside, Ferb was close behind, carrying a digital camera.

Phineas sat the Platypus under their oak tree and took the camera from Ferb. "Okay Ferb, I'll take some pictures to put on the posters, you go make a printing press." He said happily. Ferb rolled his eyes, his bother always made him do the hard part.

All the while Perry sat outside by the sliding door, keeping an eye on Doofenshmirtz. He knew it only took a moment for the boys to look away and the other could slip away to look for an entrance to his base.

Just as they began printing, their friend Isabella came into the yard. "Hi Phineas, whatcha' doin'?" She asked in her usual cute tone.

The boy in question turned to face her. "Oh hi Isabella! Ferb and I found a lost Platypus yesterday." He said, pointing to the animal still sitting under the tree. "So today we're going to find his owner. We just started printing these, and we're going to put them up all over town." The boy held up one that just finished printing.

"Posters? Doesn't that seem a little boring?" Isabella questioned, somewhat expecting them to invent some kind of mind reading machine so they could read the platypus' mind and find its owner that way.

The boy shrugged, "I guess, but it worked when Pinky ran away."

"True." She commented before turning attention to the Platypus all this was for. "Phineas, are you sure that's a boy?" She asked while rubbing her chin.

"Hmmm, no, not really. Why?" The boy commented idly while pulling another poster off the press.

She walked over and picked the purple animal up. "Because I think it's a girl."

Doofenshmirtz eyes widened, _"WHAT? Of course I'm not a girl!"_ He yelled while trying to get out of the girls arms. Perry on the other hand was in a fit of giggles.

"Really? What makes you think that?" Phineas asked her.

She smiled, "I'm a girl, I just know these things." She held the platypus out at arms length to get a good look at him. "She just needs a makeover!"

"Hey! That's a great idea Isabella! Maybe a makeover will cheer her up!" Phineas exclaimed while petting said Platypus.

"_Wha- what's a makeover? And why are you laughing Perry?" _Doof yelled, shaking a fist at the other animal.

Ferb came up to them holding a stack of posters. "Ferb and I will hang these around town, while you go home and give her a makeover!" Phineas said with a smile.

The three kids departed, leaving Perry alone. He debated on whether or not he should inform Major Monogram about the situation. But how exactly would he explain it? Even if he could talk, it would still be hard to explain. And how would his Boss react if he did? Would he get fired? Maybe he'd be relocated now that Doofenshmirtz knew where he lived! Perry decided that was a risk he'd rather not take and went to take a nap instead.

It was about an hour later when Perry awoke to the sound of Isabella in the back yard. A smile crept onto the Platypus' bill when he remembered she was going to give the scientist a makeover. This he had to see! Perry slowly made his way outside.

"… Hm, I guess they aren't back yet." Isabella comments, placing Doofenshmirtz and a backpack on the ground.

Perry could barely stifle his laughter. Doofenshmirtz sighed, _"I told her she was using __**way**__ too much eye shadow. An-and this skirt, really? Pink?"_ That's when he realized what he was saying and palm-faced himself. This caused Perry to loose control and burst out laughing.

"Oh Perry!" Isabella sing-songed. Perry stopped his laughing when he noticed she was holding up a bowtie.

Within a few minutes Perry sat on a picnic blanket wearing a dark blue bowtie and Doofenshmirtz sporting make-up (including hot red lipstick on his bill) and a pink skirt. Heinz was hungrily munching on a cupcake, while Perry could only sit there with one eye twitching. Isabella was cooing at their cuteness, she had obviously gone mad!

That's when Candace decided to come outside. "What's going on here? And where are my brother?" She asked while looking around.

"Hi Candace. Phineas and Ferb are putting up posters." Isabella stated. "And these two are having a romantic date." She finished dreamily, replacing the two Platypus with her and Phineas in her imagination.

Doofenshmirtz choked on his cupcake at the word _date._

Glancing between the two animals and the far-off look on Isabella's face Candace slowly backed away, into the house. "Ooookay… I'll just leave you alone."

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^^ I don't know who to feel bad for. Perry or Doofenshmirtz?


	4. Chapter 4

I was once again guilted into updating this because of all the reviews and favorites. Curse you all! (Just kidding!)

It's been over a YEAR since the last update so I'm sure my writting style has changed but I hope you enjoy this chapter anyways.

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By the time the boy's got back Isabella had already left for a Fireside Girls meeting. The two Platypus were once again on opposite sides of the backyard, refusing to make eye contact. Their forced 'date' left them both feeling a bit awkward.

Doofenshmirtz had managed to shimmy out of the skirt and in an effort to wipe the makeup off managed to smear it all over his face.

"Huh, I guess she didn't like her makeover?" Phineas said after spotting the unhappy purple Platypus.

_"No **HE** didn't!" _Heinz corrected, but all the boy's heard was disgruntled chatter.

The redhead picked Doofenshmirtz up. "Now look at you, you're a mess." He turned to his stepbrother before continuing. "You know what that means?"

"Bath time." Ferb replied simply.

"Exactly!" Phineas cheered, always excited over the tiniest of things. Both boy's entered the house and made their way to the bathroom. Perry followed close behind, having to keep a close eye on the other Platypus no matter what.

As Ferb drew the bath water, complete with bubbles, Doofenshmirtz struggled to break free from Phineas' hold. He didn't feel comfortable with the idea of two boy's washing him, or Perry watching. But despite his protesting noise Phineas wouldn't let go. Either Heinz was incredibly weak as a Platypus or the boy was extraordinarily strong for his age. Best bet was Dr. D was just weak.

When the tub was full and the water turned off Phineas sat Doofenshmirtz in the water and grabbed a washrag. He dipped it in the water before scrubbing the Platypus' face. Doof flailed around until the rag was removed. "There, all better." Phineas said, satisfied he got all the makeup off.

The redhead noticed Perry at the other end of the tub, standing on his hind legs, front paws on the rim, looking at Doofenshmirtz. "You wanna play in the water too, Perry?" He asked as Ferb picked him up and put him in the water next to the other Platypus. "We'll be back after lunch, okay boy?" Phineas patted the teal mammal once on the head before the two left to make something to eat.

_"Wow.."_ Doofenshmirtz said after a moment._ "It's like one awkward moment after another around here, isn't it."_

Perry was inclined to agree but said nothing. He moved to the rim of the tub to climb out but stopped when he heard Heinz speak again.

_"Hey, wait a minute. I'm a platypus now… That means I can breathe under water!_" He said excitedly before plunging under the water. Immediately large amounts of bubbles escaped his bill and Doofenshmirtz began thrashing around, drowning, but too stupid to come up for air.

Perry watched for a moment before sighing and grabbing the other Platypus, forcing him back up. _"We can't breathe under water, you idiot!" _He scolded as Heinz gasped for air.

_"No need for name calling, Perry!"_ Doofenshmirtz pouted after getting his breathing under control. _"How was I supposed to know?"_

He turned his back on Perry and Perry just rolled his eyes at the others stupidity. A thought came to Heinz and he smirked evilly, raising his tail above the water before bringing it back down roughly. Causing water to splash all over Perry.

_"Knock it off!"_ He scolded

Doofenshmirtz continued to slap water at Perry. _"Make me!"_ He sing-songed.

The teal Platypus suddenly lunged forward, grabbing onto Doof's back and forcing him under the water. In return Heinz threw all of his weight back, surprising Perry and sending him under.

When the boy's returned the bathroom was a mess. Water and bubbles were everywhere. The two Platypus were still wrestling, Perry had the ex-scientist in a headlock, Doofenshmirtz refusing to call uncle and pulling at the others tail.

"Aw, isn't that cute?" Phineas said while getting out two towels, apparently confusing the wrestling for cuddling.

Ferb nodded and took a towel from his brother. He picked Doofenshmirtz up, having to separate him from Perry as the two continued to go at each other, and started drying him off. Phineas did the same with Perry. "I'm glad Perry's found a girlfriend, I just hope they can still see each other after we find her owner." Phineas commented.

Just then Candace passed by the bathroom and spotted the mess. "Oooh, you two better clean up this mess before Mom gets home!" She warned before turning her attention back to her cell phone and left, most likely talking to Stacy about Jeremy.

"Okay Sis!" Phineas called back. The two got to work while Perry and Doofenshmirtz slipped out of the room.

_"I can't believe this! Why would they think we're dating? Or that I'm a girl, for that matter? I mean, even if I **was** a girl, I wouldn't date you. You're not even my type!"_ Heinz ranted, flopping down on the pet bed. He noticed the perplexed and rather disturbed look Perry was giving him. _"What?"_

_"Do you even pay attention to what you're saying?"_ He asked, pushing Doofenshmirtz off the bed so he could lay down.

_"Not really." _He admitted, he was too exhausted to fight for the tiny bed and laid on the floor.

Perry sighed. _"I don't like this any more than you do, having my owners turn every little thing we do into something romantic, but they're just kids." _He thought for a moment. _"Tomorrow we're going back to D.E.I. and getting you changed back."_

_"Hello? Forgetting something? What about Norm?"_

_"I'll keep Norm distracted while you rebuild your stupid -inator." _Perry replied before turning his back to Heinz, ending the conversation.  
_  
"Fine... And my -inators aren't stupid!"_ He pouted.


End file.
